Well here I am - at the beginning of so many things. I am about to reach my 54th birthday and I feel like I'm just getting started. So much to do and say and learn... Anyway, I'm writing this blog so I can get used to just writing. I have lots of stories in my head and if you were sitting in front of me I could tell them to you and I think you'd understand my intent. But you're not and I hesitate to write because I don't use the vocabulary I know (not sure why).

I'm afraid of a lot of things. So this blog marks not only facing my fear of being understood, I'm also about to register for college (tomorrow) as a freshman. I took classes about 35 years ago but they don't transfer and holy moly - I didn't even understand the math questions so I totally guessed at every question (obviously I'll be taking remedial math first thing).

I'm also afraid of living for the rest of my life in various degrees of discomfort/pain. I hurt when I stand up or bend down, when I walk for a while and when I've been in one position for a time. My husband and I joined the "Y" and I'm going to get into the pool so I can take some classes in the pool to start. The thing is - if you knew me - I think you'd be surprised to learn that I carry a knot in my stomach most of the time - just waiting for the next "challenge".

Geez - that sounds pitiful - I don't mean that I live a sad life. I'm actually quite a happy person, I love to laugh and make others laugh more. I supposed if I looked back far enough I'd see that fear has guided a lot decisions. I don't even have a list of wishes anymore. I want to get away from that part of myself and start living fully.

I guess the bottom line is that I've lived most of my life in my head. And now it's time to live my life out in the open - hence the name of my blog - Living Inside Out.